The 12 Queer Sex Positions Of Xmas | Autostraddle

all illustrations by
Archie Bongiovanni

Christmas is cumming! That is correct — child J’s birthday no longer is about virgin births or cancelled routes or outlining the merits of veganism your level eather uncle. It’s about moving in the bed room with a partner (or three) and participating in some virtuous, old fashioned giving and receiving. Take to these jobs to add some spice (ooh, is nutmeg?) to your sexual life this December. The holigays are queer!

1. The “Elf About Shelf”

One cutie perches on edge of a table. Bae kneels below them and services the cutie making use of their mouth area. Cutie says to bae they have been naughty this season (or great, dependent on what they want to hear).

2. The “Fistmas Cheer”

Two audacious queers stay dealing with one another. They fist each other employing generously-lubricated correct fingers while at the same time drinking eggnog (or a dairy-free choice) and their left arms.

3. The “Gay Apparel”

If you reside in a cool environment, you already know the challenge of experiencing gender while keeping comfortable. As soon as the weather condition outside is frightful, you and your sweetie can snuggle in to the exact same sweater and feel both upwards.

4. The “Reverse Reindeer”

Lover no. 1 lies flat on their back. Mate no. 2 faces away from all of them and straddles their particular sides. Mate # 1 retains spouse number 2’s tresses even though they bump and grind. Optional: mate # 1 shouts, “Merry xmas to all or any and also to all a beneficial night!”

5. The “Five Fantastic G-Strings”

Five or more hotties in skimpy intimate apparel sit in a range while bending against both. They at the same time achieve around to the sexpot facing all of them, extract their unique underpants sideways and perform hand intercourse of any kind on each other. Every 10 minutes, the caboose gets to move to the front so they are able have a jolly good-time, also.

6. The “Tits the summer season”

One well-endowed girl hovers their unique bosom over an enthusiastic cutie’s chest. They brush their erect nipples collectively until they concurrently orgasm.

Try this website:

7. “The Xmas


One femme returns another femme’s gloves.

8. The “Stocking Stuffer”

A professional, lubricated deviant will get on their arms and legs while a professional dom with adequately-trimmed toenails foots their unique ass. For a supplementary merry footing, attempt
Swiss Navy’s butt lubricant
, containing clove oil and smells the same as a vacation Yankee candle.

9. The “Mall Santa”

A favorite queer bands on a huge, yellow dildo and rests in a durable couch. One admirer straddles the dong and requires it for some time, hard sleigh journey while other suitors impatiently wait their own changes.

10. The “Bang the Halls”

This option is out on solitary people who need to fa-la-la-la-la by themselves into the holiday heart. Place a suction cup vibrator from the wall in a narrow hallway. Grit your teeth up against the other wall as you ram that dildo up your chimney and relish the autonomy of singlehood.

11. The “Figgy Pudding”

Mate number 1 sits on partner # 2’s face and grinds until they squirt into partner number 2’s hungry throat and also have a pleasurable new-year.

12. The “Cum All Ye Faithful”

Several queers pile their parts onto
a secret Wand
in the highest environment.

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